Well this week we thought we would give you even more tips that you can go away and get results with straight away. This time we are going to focus on how you can use your tonality, i.e. voice, to gain instantaneous rapport.
Would you like to get better results when talking to someone face to face or on the phone?
Do you use the phone to makes sales and would like to increase the number of sales you make?
Do you ever find it hard work speaking to people on the phone and would like to make it easier, plus have them take the action you need them to take e.g. a
work colleague or a family member?
How good would it be if you could have someone hear your communication, what you really have to say, regardless of the words you use?
Well instantaneous rapport using your tonality/voice is the answer, especially if speaking on the phone!
A quick reminder of what rapport is:
In hypnosis rapport is that magical state whereby the client will uncritically accept the suggestions made to them by the hypnotherapist.
In NLP it is more about the process by which to get into rapport with someone, so they can accept your communication uncritically. It is a process of
responsiveness using what we call matching and mirroring.
Today we will look at how you can match someone's tonality to gain instantaneous rapport.
What is interesting is that in relatively recent times the world has become a much more visual place. Before people were much more auditory (hearing) orientated: telling and listening to stories, listening to music, speaking on the phone. Now we live in a much more visual world, a world of seeing e.g watching visually intense films, music videos, video games and even facetime on mobile phones.
This has created a great opportunity for rapport building as people are much less aware of what they hear these days. If you change your tonality/voice it will be much more out of their consciousness, making it very easy to build rapport!
The major elements of tonality to match are:
- Voice Tone (pitch – high or low)
- Tempo (speed – slow or fast)
- Timbre (quality – clear or raspy)
- Volume (loudness – loud or soft)
These are all great when speaking face to face and particularly work well on the phone where you can't match physiology!
So how do you match each of these?
Voice Tone – the pitch of the voice, high or low.
If someone speaks in a low tone simply lower your voice tone to be more like them. If someone speaks in a higher tone simply make your voice tone higher to be more like them.
You don't have to match their tone exactly, you want to match it based on moving up or down within your own range. This is especially true if you are speaking to someone of the opposite sex . If you are a woman, if you matched a man's low tone exactly it would sound strange and be too obvious and in the other person's consciousness. You wouldn't build rapport in fact you would probably break it! So lower it within your own natural range.
Equally for a man to match exactly a woman's high toned voice would sound odd, so a man would make his tone higher within his own range.
The result is you sound more like the other person and so unconsciously they will recognise you are like them and they will like you and be more inclined to listen to your communication.
This also works well with people you know already, just be careful to keep the change really subtle and out of their consciousness.
Tempo - the speed at which someone speaks
If someone speaks slowly speak as slowly as the do. If they talk fast, speed up to speak as fast they do. Simply adjust your natural speed of speaking to match them. Again if it is someone you know be careful of becoming too obvious, you may have to adjust to be more like them than exactly like them!
Timbre - the quality of the person's voice
Some people talk with a very clear voice, some with a husky, gravely or raspy voice. Simply change your voice to match how they speak. This can take a bit more practice than the other ways to change your voice but can be easily done. Practice dropping your voice further down the back of your throat to be more raspy and to be more clear you may notice this is easier if your voice is a little higher up in your throat and you have the intention of projecting a little bit more.
Volume - how softly or loudly someone speaks
Some people speak as quietly as a mouse so you can barely hear them and some speak VERY loudly and some people speak somewhere in between.
This is just their preference and so a great way to get in to rapport is to adjust your volume to match that person's volume. Even if someone is shouting at you you can raise your voice volume to match them and just use non confrontational language. It is a great way of ensuring your communication is heard! You may have noticed that sometimes the worse thing to do is talk quietly to someone who is raising their voice to you. Because it doesn't build rapport!
Many of our clients have said how well changing their tonality/voice has worked, even with people they already know. Small changes can create big results.
We hope you found this selection of how to use your tonality/voice to get into rapport useful. If you wish to know more about this technique and how it can help you please contact us .